January 2, 2013
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resolutions…too
I should have broken up with him yesterday. I could have taken the iPod nano as a nice parting gift, but I handed it back. He wanted to upgrade it. Just as well, because it would have been a reminder of him. Part of me is relieved that it’s over. She sits in the corner with blank eyes, shellshocked and looking hellish bad.
I caught him in (another) lie. I called him on it, and he tried to turn it on me. I didn’t back down, just outlined the facts and the most recent events. Then I backed away, and gave him back to his friends. He stopped responding, but continued to read the pain that flowed across the screen. I wasn’t hysterical, he couldn’t argue.
Then I cried and cried…because it sucks to be lied to by someone you gave a million chances to. I feel like a fool, but mostly I just have a pain in my chest that is so penetrating and agonizing that I wonder if I might die. There would be worse things. He could wait awhile and try to contact me again. I laugh mirthlessly and hollowly into the night.
Devil me and Angel me are absent. I hope that they’ll hold me back if he does contact me.
I should have known that he wasn’t sincere.
