May 26, 2012
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unsmiling…
….He reaches in through the hole. The growling has ceased, and she stares wide-eyed at the hand that has invaded her shell. She crouches silently with her back to the inside of the shell that has failed her. He stops short of touching her, withdraws his hand, and peeks into the hole.
“I miss you,” he says.
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He doesn’t really miss her. She knows that. Against her better judgement she agrees to see him one last time. Everything feels wrong. When she kisses him, when he shows her the work he’s done on the house, the television he purchased so he could watch out on his porch. He teases her a little. She sighs quietly, softly compliments the improvements he’s made. He wants to go out to dinner, but it’s late. He pulls out a coupon book that he’s purchased from a co-worker who’s kid is selling them to raise funds for his ball team. He pages through it, asking what she feels like. She doesn’t tell him that she feels like she should have stayed home. She’s no longer hungry. He ends up getting take – out Thai. It’s not as good as it used it be, and he apologizes.
He never apologizes for hurting her, though. When she leaves, he kisses her at the door. The kisses leave her feeling empty, and she feels like she’s failed. She wills herself not to cry though. She just reminds herself that she knew it was over all along.
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It will be weeks before she smiles again.
