April 6, 2012
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Friday night…
The moon is huge and full and golden. I gaze at it while I stand outside, waiting for the dog to finish her business. Normally I would text D and tell him to go outside to see the moon. I won’t ever do that again.
I wait for the tears, but they don’t come. Angel me places a warm hand on my shoulder, “It’s getting easier.”
Not really, but it’s not as painful. When she asks me about my plans I tell her that I’m tired. I’ll have one cocktail, eat a little dinner, shower, blog and go to bed.
M hails me in chat. He’s coming down in a little over a week and he wants to see me. I don’t brush him off. I think it will be disastrous, but he’s hot to see me. He’s wanted to hook up for 3 years. He’s a successful attorney who dates models and showgirls. I have no idea what he sees in me, but I figure, “Why the hell not?” If it doesn’t work out, then he goes back to California. We revert to barely speaking to each other. No harm.
My cell buzzes with an incoming call. It’s J, so I answer it. It turns out to be a mutual friend, who is on a wary date, and who is very tipsy. She’s afraid of falling for J’s charms, “I’m like his sister. Like you are.” She’s getting sucked in, and she’s finally realizing how charming J can be. I tell her to relax and have fun, but she’s a little scared. I remind her that she doesn’t have to do anything. The call will end up dropping. I’ll find out what happened later.
I go to log off the social networking site, and there is a new notification. D has made contact.
I stare at the screen for a few seconds.
Then I log off.
