February 25, 2012
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surprising words….
When I arrived he was sitting stiffly in the big chair at the computer. He had a tremendous ice pack on his shoulder. I leaned in and kissed his forehead. He liked the doctor. I was surprised at the improvement in his bedside manner. I saw the same doctor about a decade ago and he was brusque and taciturn. I didn’t share that with D; no need for him to know that his doctor had been a different person once. D gestured to the TENS unit and the bottles of pills lined up on the kitchen table. New generation anti-inflammatories, non opiod pain relievers that contained no narcotic, muscle relaxants…I didn’t know any of these new medications and I was fascinated.
D asked me about one. He recognized the one ingredient as a common over-the-counter anti-inflammatory, “The other drug in it keeps it from upsetting the stomach I guess.” He turns to me with a quizzical look. I pick up the bottle, “The dose is 2400 mg a day, which is a huge dose. It would wreck havoc with your stomach. The other drug in it is Pepcid, I believe.” I explain how Pepcid works to prevent ulcers. He goes to the computer and looks it up, and is delighted that I’m correct.
I just smile at him and shake my head. Then I cook pasta sauce and rice pasta for dinner. He eats some of that. Later he’ll heat up the chili I made a few weeks back. He really pushes it with food safety sometimes.
We watch an abysmally bad movie, but it gives us time to talk so we don’t jettison it as quickly as we should. We are joking about the costuming in the movie, which is set in the 70s, and is pretty ridiculous.
Then D turns serious, “You are so good to me. You are so good, and always there for me. I’m an asshole sometimes. You can be a real bitch when you want to be. When it’s right, though….when it’s good….I’m so happy to have you around, because you are so good to me.” Then he pulled me close with his “good” arm and kissed the top of my head.
I was taken by surprise by that statement. Hardly the flowery words of a lover, but for D, that’s about as close as it gets. It wasn’t fueled by liquor or pain pills. He had only had the new generation ibuprofen so he was clear headed.
I replied in the same spare way, “You know I’m crazy about you. I always have been. Besides, all women are bitchy sometimes.”
We find a better movie, and I doze off during parts of it. It’s been a good week at work, but it’s late and I’m tired. D is awake for the whole movie. I doze with my head on his chest, the way my kids used to doze when we would watch television late.
Later in bed, I keep to “my side”. He tells me to scoot closer and he hooks a leg over mine. He can’t lay on his side and I can’t snuggle in on that side of his chest because that’s the shoulder that is painful. He sleeps like a baby. I don’t sleep well at all. My alarm on my cell phone goes off at 6:30 am and I’m wide awake. It’s set to vibrate. I sleep so lightly that I still hear it and wake up.
I figure that I’ll get some rest while I do a little laundry and feed the animals. Ha. The dog and the kitten slept all night. They want to play. So I get no rest. I also have to drive to my new house to pick up mail. There’s a check waiting. A big check. There are also some other important papers. I don’t think D is up to going, but I ask him if he wants to ride along. I figure we can go to the grocery store on the way back. He surprises me by being up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed…and yes, he would like to ride along. Damn. Didn’t expect that.
So I’ll fold another load of laundry, put on a little makeup, and head over to pick him up.
I’m good to him.
I wonder if this is how L felt during the time that she dated him.
